Date:    Mon, 2 Feb 1998 16:34:44 -0800
From:    Martin Acaster 
Subject: Ghost Story #16 11/28/97 Set 2 The Sexiest Ghost Alive

Hey There

This one goes out to all you lovers out there.  A ghost story for all those
people who claim that Phish is not sexy....that there is no swagger....no
lust....no raunch....that the pornofunk is a shallow fling with no
feeling.....if this Ghost doesn't make you shake that tail feather nothing
will....this ghost is hot....its steamy.....it is a musical orgasm...a big
ass bass bootie shaking romp on the Olaphian mothership.....it will make you
scream in ecstasy.  Thanks to the interplanetary funksmanship of Ryan Stroud
for the tapes.

Ghost Story #16  Worcester Centrum, Worcester, MA 11/28/97 Set 2
The Sexiest Ghost Alive

A slave to the traffic light...trying to get across town....late for a
date....impatiently turning the radio dial....damn she is going to be pissed
AGAIN....he takes a quick right hand turn down a dark deserted side
street...the fog descends.....the prologue begins....free from the traffic
bopping a long the engine snapping and popping along to the funk on the
radio.....accelerating....squealing tires around the curves keeping time to
that fat funk groove.  The words are the words he sails upon....as usual no
lyrical flubs in the prologue.  The verse break moogaloo is funkay and
extended....the daydreaming romp of an expectant lover eager to meet his
date...The Ghosts are insistent, lusty squeals, the pleasure only he could
give her....the prologue comes to a close as usual around the 3:00 minute
mark and the story begins with a stop start scratchy funk groove.  Wing
Commander Gordon high above in the olaphian mothership begins to load the
munitions into the bomb bay.   Far below our daydreaming hero screams as his
car leaves the road, crashing through the guard rail and off the side of a
steep cliff......he passes out as the car plummets towards the ocean....the
olaphian mothership descends from the heavens towards the ocean surface just
as the car splashes into the water....gurgling watery sounds mix with the
snapping and popping of the metallic hulk of the car as it tries to resist
the pressures of the deep....the technofunk of the Olaphian tractor beam
locks onto the car and beams it aboard the craft.....by the 6:00 minute mark
we are once again rocketing skyward in the Olaphian mothership....the
unconscious passenger is pulled from the car onto the waiting stretcher
which is whisked away towards the elevator....deep in his subconscious our
lover is enjoying the break down scratch funk of a starsky and hutch
episode....the hyperdrive siren of the mothership in the distant background
with the occasional bell ring as the elevator passes each floor.....the
return from this breakdown scratch funk is a tailshaking technofunk boogie
that made me think of Morris Day and the time getting down in Purple
Rain....I don't know why.....another break down scratch funk jam....then
right back into the blazing butt shaking boogie .....a third break down
scratch that has a definite ring my bell feel to it EXPLODES as Wing
Commander Gordon begins to drop the bombs he had loaded into the bomb
bay....a raging groove develops as the mothership weaves in and out of the
asteroid belt faster faster faster ...aaaaaahhASTERoid.....WHAM.....the
hyperdrive stops the ship on a driblet (olaphian monetary unit equivalent to
1/10 of 1 U.S. dollar) ....The hyperdrive takes an immediate 90 degree
telemetry adjustment and the ship is scorching along once again faster
faster faster faster WHAM.....another whiplash inducing full stop to avoid
another asteroid....down below in the sick bay...doctors are tending to the
injured driver....the mellow groove of the sick bay oblivious to the chaotic
turbulent motion of the ship....all that can be heard are the bells and
whistles and whirring and pumping of the life support system.....deep in the
man's brain all he can hear is his own heart beat...throbbing with
life....with passion ....with a lust for his lover....slowly it builds
...from the deep recesses of his subconscious...thobbing with life.....full
on raging pornofunkin nut poppin big ass bootie bass banging for your life
HOSE.....this JAM better become a song...my god it is orgasmic...the last
three minutes of this Ghost story is just blazing sex magic baby.....faster
harder deeper longer screaming moaning movin it ...doin it.... like an 11
year old sex machine...pornofunkin madness......at 18:30 the daydreamer is
snapped out of his reverie as the song on the radio suddenly becomes Johnny
B. Goode...still waiting for the light to change....damn she is going to be
pissed

who you gonna call

Marty